They eventually showed up, right where I left them... Under the glow, I realized in horror that an old semen stain could be seen on my shorts. FML Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again.He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said "What's that smell? FML Today, I woke up as usual, got dressed as usual, and went to work as usual.
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I make small talk about how my birthday is on the same day the Boy Scouts were formed, and I tell the customer I am sure something interesting happened on his birthday. Upon my arrival, she looked at me and said, "Honey, we are going to need a bottle of whiskey and an extra 0." FML Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is currently dating a girl who lives in Korea.
FML Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault.
Nikolas Stow (10 out of 10 )Everbody was soooo good one week my school's libary's theme was pirats of the carribean. I can't wait to see pirates in the carribean #3-4 i heard there filmed at the same time. Emily (10 out of 10 )This is probably the greatest movie in the history of the world!
Memoria (10 out of 10 )Pirates of the Caribbean is my ultimate all-time favourite movie! I've seen it like 80 bagillion million times and I know every single word in the movie!